My Realization Day

Author's note: This is something that crossed my mind when I was talking to one of the most important person in my life. But as usual this is my personal view. I hope you enjoy reading. Read and review!! :)
...My Realization Day...

          As any 18 year old girl of this generation, I grew up listening and watching stories ending with  "And they lived happily ever after!" You can't really blame me for believing a tall, dark, handsome, prince will come riding on a white horse, save me from the big bad world and we will ride into sunset towards our happily ever after! Well, I don't believe that now, since 2-3 years to be more accurate. But anyways, moving on. One day when I was lost in deep thoughts about life (sounds too dramatic doesn't it?) I just came across this thought, "The one, the tall dark handsome prince, My knight in the shining armour, My Prince Charming is after all, going to be the part of this Big Bad World!" And I entirely gave up the thought of finding THE ONE or as I enjoy calling him, The Knight In The Shining Armour. 

          The people in my family believe that I am and always was a strong, arguing, talkative, outdoors kind of girl, but in reality? I can't even get a few words out in front of a guy who I used to have a crush on, I just used to stand there gaping like a stupid gold fish when he used to talk and sometimes nod. And after a year or so, he found this perfect looking girl who was umm... socially un-weird? (Is that a term?) Yup. That is who I was. I have been pretty much of a loner for 16 years, it's not like I have any problem with people or anything, I just used to enjoy books my company more than of other girls in my school who enjoyed gossiping about the hotness of Bollywood actors, boys, nail paints and different kinds of cosmetic products that used to launch every week! In the social atmosphere, I was pretty invisible. Invisible and happy! Until one day, school was over. When I entered High school, I met this guy. And he, wanted me to, as I like to quote him directly here, "Discover the beauties of social settings which you are missing out on when you are buried neck deep and crying over fictional characters in a book!" And being the person that I am, I just went, "Woah! Are you the knight in the shining armour?" That.. made him pretty awkward but he just told me he was not any 'knight', he was just a brat who was going to help me get over the social-awkwardness that I had... And till an extent, it worked! I was now talking to people, and making friends!
          And then a few things happened. I pushed everyone away from me, built a wall around myself, A very thick one. I did not let anyone enter. No one was allowed. And when I wanted to get out of that loneliness, when I wanted someone's help me to break the wall, there was no one around me. Not because people did not love me enough, but because I had blocked them out. I was responsible for all that was happening to me. And I? I was waiting for my savior to come. I was pretty lonely inside those four walls, except the empty armour kept in a corner. Out of frustration I even kicked it twice or thrice, and the armour, as it was empty, tumbled to the ground, and I did put it back together again. And once, when  I was placing the toppest part of the armour, the helmet, I saw something in that shining armour, it was my own face. That is when it struck me. There was no one coming to save me. I was my own savior. I had to be my own 'knight in the shining armour'! So, I wore the armour, kept trying to break the wall, the armour got a lot of scratches, sometimes the wounds even reached till my skin and with every brick that fell, light started rushed inside... but at the end, I broke that wall. I was back in the outside world. As they say, back with a bang! I was a stronger, better and at last but not the least happier person.
          And the feeling of achievement I got? It was indescribable! It was the most beautiful experiences that I have had in my entire life... And now I simply know.. Come what may, I can face it.. I know I won't run away anymore... And THAT was my realization day...

-Nidhi Paralikar


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