Just the Ladylike Me: Ladies and Gentlemen!!

Author's note: I don't mean to offend anyone with this. This is again something that I have enjoyed writing. From start till the end. I would like my wonderful readers to keep an open mind while reading this. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing this. Read and review :)

          A few weeks ago some of us girl-friends met. We do that once in a while to catch up with each other, since being in different colleges, studying entirely different subjects doesn't really help much with keeping the bond intact. Yes, you imagined it right, a group of 5-6 girls sitting in a cafe discussing things. Here is where the most difficult part for me kicks in. You see, when you get out of your school, into the 'outside world', you meet people with great minds with whom you can keep having conversations and never get fed up or bored, you might even repeat topics while talking but getting to know someone's outlook towards things right from gummy bears and teddy bears to their concept about God, or love, or the universe, that I enjoy. So I would any time talk about philosophy and writers and comics over lipsticks and Bollywood and fashion. I think you get my point here. The girls in this group are those who love to talk about the new fashion trends, Facebook friends, interesting tweets from celebrities, and how they watch new Rom-com movies every time with their boyfriends. Nothing's wrong with that, in fact these too are discussable topics, it is just me that can't get a grip on them. I enjoy Rom-com movies, I like to read about new fashion trends, but not so much to discuss about them for two hours. Hey! An individual can have her own opinion, right? And my opinions about these things are not so much... how can I put it... acceptable. So I don't change them, I just keep them to myself. So when conversations go down that road, I tune out. My sub-conscious mind is my awesome savior at such times because even when I am not really paying a lot of attention to it, or take part in these talks, it manages to record a few things just enough for me to talk about it for a while next time, before tuning out again.

          This time when we met, they had a topic at hand that girls world wide like talking 'about' but very rarely accepting it. Yes. Boys. They went on and on, good things, then bad things, mostly complaining, and then again good stuff and the cycle went on and on. Until one of the girls decided to make a very bold statement, and well, me being the person I am, decided to take part in this conversation. That's what she said- "There are no gentlemen left in our generation." [A/N: You see what I did there?? ;)] See, when you have brothers who is are through gentlemen, when you have a lot, and I mean very good and more than girls, guy friends, who again are somewhat really close to gentlemen, you just can't keep your opinions to yourself. You can't!! I did not react much, I don't know why was I the victim of many sour looks and sounds somewhat between a disappointed grunt and a short but deep wail when I said, "You speak as if there are many ladies born in our generation to treat those men right." Give those boys a break girls! Being a gentleman is the combination of 40% mental maturity and 60% choice. The same ratio goes in with women.

          I am not a feminist, I really don't understand and after the 'My Choice' video by Vogue featuring Deepika Padukone, I really wouldn't choose to talk about feminism, not now, and probably never. I really don't think Women Empowerment is only about Freedom of dressing and Freedom of sexual activities. I like to think of it more into the terms of freedom of thought and the choice of rising about the society system.

          Anyway, I remember reading a quote on Facebook saying, "It is a mother's duty to teach the daughter how to be a lady, but it is a father's duty to show her how is a lady supposed to be treated."

           I personally, really, think that being a 'lady' is a lot above sophistication, being pretty, and dinner etiquettes. I agree they help. But as far as I've seen and learnt, being a lady is being head-strong about handling situations but also being in touch with your emotional side. Being a lady is staying strong in tough situations and sticking to your decisions, being a lady is about accepting it when you are wrong, and fighting for it till no extent if you are right and a lot more. Now, when you have been reading through this, I think you remembered those situations in which you have behaved this way. That is what I am trying to prove ladies! In each woman, girl, there's a lady. You just have to be in touch with that side of yours more than the other one. Being a lady, is rising above petty things like prettiness and being beautiful, and something, which is difficult to understand in such a limited writing space.

          When I said my brothers and my guy friends are gentlemen, do you really think I was talking about them giving me a hand while getting out of the lift/car? Do you really think I was talking about them pulling out a chair for me and help me in, or lending me their coats when I'm cold?? Hell no! If they help me out of the lift/car, it is if they want me to trip, if they are going to pull out a chair, trust me they'll pull it to the extent where I actually fall while sitting down. While talking keeping in mind that there a girl sitting with them and ignoring disgusting and perverted topics?? I really could burst out laughing at the thought of this. Thanks to these people I know most of the swear words (sometimes which annoys my mum to no extent). And I still call them gentlemen. I might have a reason right? I do. They open doors for me, they open doors of thought for me and vice versa. They annoy me to no extent, but that is because it is me. I know they wouldn't behave like that with other girls before thinking 10 times. They are boyish, and then they are not. Being a gentleman, according to me, is knowing where to act smart/clever and where to act wise, for me, it isn't about being kind to women all the time, it is about knowing when to be harsh and when to be kind, and something, again, which is difficult to explain in such short words and in such a limited space.

          You see people, not everyone is going to understand this, some people will always behave immaturely, they'll be disrespectful and really annoying, they'll be someone you want to abuse on daily terms, commonly knows as jerks and b****** in our generation. But I really want to request you, that before you generalize and say things like "There are no gentlemen left in our generation" or "All women are (insert offensive words here)" look around you. Because the lady/gentleman in you is already busy complimenting and helping the lady/gentleman in the person in front of you. We are just too ignorant and tend to overlook that, And if you pay attention and don't find what I say as true, you might want to consider changing the company you keep.

Other than that,

          Cheers to all of you, because in all you men, there's a gentleman and in all we girls/women, there's a lady. Keep complimenting each other's personalities and let's keep rising and helping others rise. Let's try to stop playing blame games. Let's just stop blaming the 'society' and let's be what society is meant to be.

-Nidhi Paralikar.